When I decided to “re-launch” this website to chronicle my journey into Catholicism, I still wasn’t sure what I was going to truly do with it. I am still not sure which direction the website will take as I continue down my spiritual path, so forgive me if I change tack a few times here and there, or I seem to ramble about things that otherwise do not make sense.
Each evening, as I say my nightly prayers, I have been asking for some sort of enlightenment, so I may come to realize the path this website should take. Last night, I had a sort of epiphany while talking with my wife about the Church, my experiences so far, and what I expect.
As I mentioned in my first article I experienced a very serious, and unpleasant, scene in the Catholic Church in my hometown. I won’t repeat the story here tonight, you can read about it in ‘Welcome To RoCaBap‘. Without being too long winded, I realized I need to talk about every experience, whether or not it had a positive impact on my life.
I’ve come to realize, most of the information I ‘knew’ about the Church before I started my journey into it, came from those already in the Church. From the traumatic experience that day at the funeral until recently, to the day I stepped foot back into a Catholic Church, up to our most recent RCIA class, every bit of information, every experience I knew as ‘Catholic’ came from people inside the church.
All this time I was convinced that the Catholic Church was no place for me, and why? Because I allowed myself, my soul, to listen to people rather than God.
When the priest struck the girl in the face years ago, I allowed his actions to sway my judgement of the Church and everyone in it and when co-workers (who were Catholic) would gossip or talk maliciously about someone or something in their parish, I allowed their words to resonate into my soul and obscure my view of the Church.
I realized last night that every single view I had of the Church, whether it was positive or negative, came from Catholics themselves. Thinking back on it, I don’t think I’ve ever heard any non-Catholics speak poorly of the Church. I could be mistaken. I remember a lot of things about the Catholic Church, so if it had happened you would think I would remember something like that.
Beginning with my next article, I will be writing about specific experiences in my life, as a sort of summary of my life up til now. I can’t promise I will be politically correct, and I won’t guarantee that I won’t upset some people along the way, but I will be honest.
It’s been a long road to get to this point in my life, but I am here, and I am ready to take the next steps in my spiritual journey. Just as importantly, I am now ready to write about it.
